Tuesday, September 5, 2023

"A New Song to Sing"


Today is September 5, my son Zachary’s 10th heavenly birthday. I usually have a very hard time on this day and cry a lot, but today is different. Today I am filled with joy and excitement because God has been using this little boy who lived only a few minutes to do something BIG in this world that he never knew. I am honored that I get to be a part of this project as I try to follow the Holy Spirit’s nudges and do as he leads. A lot is going on, and because of this, today is different. 

Today, I have something to offer my son for his birthday. I have written his story. It’s not ready to publish yet, but I had hoped to have a rough draft finished by Zachary’s birthday - and despite it all, I did it! I am not writing this book because I had the idea, but God made it clear to me that I was supposed to. Something in these 41,128 words is supposed to help someone…somewhere. 

Maybe that someone is me. 

Because of Zachary, I learned about hope and joy amidst sorrow. I know now that God’s plans are the best plans, even if they’re not what or when I wanted. I know now that God knows the details of our lives and cares about all of them, even the tiniest ones. I have experienced how he loves to send us messages of love through other people, nature, the Bible, music, and other things. I have experienced miracles and wonders that I don’t deserve. He does this for all of us, just because he loves us. Writing this book has given me new understandings and new kinds of healing. I got to have some pretty special conversations and even got to meet some new people in the process too. 

When God called me to write this book, I didn’t know how big this project actually was. God knew I probably wouldn’t respond well to that, so he just hinted and then showed me step-by-step what to do. I had no idea what I would learn, not just about the writing and publishing process, but also about what it’s like to work more closely with the Holy Spirit to share the hope that I have earned. I also did not know that God would also give me songs to sing (and eventually share) too.  I still don’t know what the end result will be, but I am excited and ready. 

Today I am celebrating Zachary. He has changed me and continues to change me. Though I have a long way to go, I have learned a lot in ten years because of this remarkable son of mine. Though this kind of growth has not been easy, I am grateful for all of it. Mostly, I am grateful to be Zachary’s mom. I miss him every day, and can’t wait to hug him in Heaven. Until then, I’ll tell his story and do my best to make him proud. 

He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:3 (NLT)

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